11. Are you living the life you chose?

Living in seven-year cycles

Let me start with a simple philosophy, we are souls living a human experience through the medium of love and its many distortions. In our last discussion I spoke about how we travel in soul groups as a collective consciousness with the purpose of mastering a specific aspect of humanity. Before we are born, we build ourselves a solid blueprint for life that is structured toward us achieving a specific goal in a particular lifetime; the higher goal being self-mastery to the point of total enlightenment. If you can onboard that concept you are well on your way to awakening and living your authentic life as opposed to the life you were taught you ought to be living. How do you know if you are living your authentic life? Let us look at how we start off in life in order to answer that question.

Life stages can be broken up into seven-year cycles. During the first cycle from birth to seven years of age you are not capable of running your own life. Developmentally, your brain is still in the limbic phase and emotion rules the day. Your neocortex where all your cognitive reasoning ability is generated is still not fully developed and you feel your way through life. It stands to reason then that you need strong physical support, guidance, protection, and direction to steer you through your initial growing stage. You learn to walk and talk and follow instructions with partial independence as the goal of this growth stage. The end result is that you are self-sufficient enough to be able to express yourself, separate from your parents or caretakers without trauma, and enter a learning institution or school. Not all experiences in this stage are the same and some are more adequately prepared than others. This lays the foundation for everything that is to follow and any problems or struggles in this phase that remain unattended, could set you on a wobbly path indeed. Your every learning is, of necessity, scripted by others.

The second cycle from seven to fourteen years is all about learning independence, onboarding information, and developing your enquiring mind. At the same time, you will begin to develop physically and will start to define your character and preferences. With a solid foundation stage behind you, thriving and growing is almost guaranteed. Those with a rocky foundation may struggle, take longer, and be more fearful and/or challenged by the process. Sometimes if excellent teachers are your experience, foundation stage challenges can be overcome, and you can get back on track in your development. If that is not the case, then learning can be stunted and life can become difficult indeed. This is the stage where we begin to identify ourselves as individuals although we are still almost entirely taught and directed by others.

The third cycle fourteen to twenty-one is where we begin to push back against the restrictions and beliefs of our parents/caretakers and we begin to challenge the rules. This is often the start of the awakening process and some youngsters revert very organically to their life plans and are set on track for the life they incarnated to live. For others this does not happen and may only take place later in life, if at all. In this stage we begin to tailor our learning toward a specific goal or outcome, we are fully able to operate in a team environment, as part of a group, while at the same time being wholly aware of (or at least striving toward) our individuality. We no longer blindly accept what is given to us and we begin to think outside of the boxes presented. The neocortex is only fully developed by the end of this cycle and until that happens, we struggle to contextualise our experiences and find perspective challenging. Spirituality and religious instruction are often embraced here as a support mechanism for youngsters who feel out of alignment with their parents/caregivers… or conversely, it is abandoned entirely. Youngsters in this cycle can be prone to catastrophising when they are not always able to fully process their experiences and learnings. They see everything in terms of how it affects them directly and without the context that full reasoning capability affords us, this can be a very vulnerable stage. This is often a very frustrating time for both the child and the parents/caretakers as their previously compliant, eager to please children turn to questioning, judgement, and often resentment and anger. Alternatively, this can be a time of great satisfaction and growth for those who are comfortable following the pre-set guidelines they have been taught they need to follow, and they find this a time for excelling and achievement.

The fourth cycle from twenty-one to twenty-eight is where ideally, we get to complete autonomy. This is where we enter the higher learning institutions or acquire the skills that will become our livelihood. The end goal here is total independence, financially and physically as we move out on our own in life without the support of our parents and caretakers. It is here that we often learn to define ourselves by what we choose to do in the workplace, even though this is often at odds with our soul plan. Sometimes those who excelled in the previous cycle, having had huge support from parents/caretakers, can fall apart as they need to learn to motivate themselves, direct and manage their own lives, away from home. Conversely those who previously rebelled and struggled may find that being on their own allows them to find their authentic voice and they naturally course correct and get back on track with their soul plan. Everyone has a different experience.

The fifth cycle, twenty-eight to thirty-five is often life defining. Here we commonly choose our life partners, begin to have families of our own, and are well set on our career paths. The goal in this cycle is self-expression. Our parents sit back and watch with pride to see how we manage. If we excel, they feel validated, and if we fall short, they may not understand and begin to cast around to see where we went off track and they let us know we have disappointed. There is often great pressure attached to this phase as we come under scrutiny from families, communities, religious institutions, our workplace leaders… every aspect of our lives is about how we perform, how we deliver, are we good enough, do we deserve a promotion, are we able to set up and run a home, are we responsible enough to care for a baby, can we successfully navigate life on the terms we have been taught. This can be a time of great joy and achievement, or it can be a devastatingly difficult phase. Often in this stage we begin to question who we are and why we are here, as we may find ourselves drawn to live life differently to how we have been taught the “right way” is. We may find ourselves feeling trapped in a life that somehow doesn’t fit us or overwhelms us. In some cases, we may not be able to get our lives going and fail to launch at all.

The sixth cycle of thirty-five to forty-two finds us continuing the previous cycle and learning to cope and excel or make adjustments. We might also expand our learning and begin to take on more responsibility in the workplace, or we may have onboarded enough knowledge to start our own business. We may become leaders in our communities. Once our children are at school we are perfectly poised to redefine ourselves by learning new skills or exploring new horizons. This is a cycle where questioning and self-assessment become the order of the day and awakening is a distinct possibility. It all depends how uncomfortable we are in life and whether we feel fulfilled or not. It is here that we often jettison significant relationships, or make career changes, seeking to recalibrate a life that does not feel like it fits us properly; or perhaps to rectify a mistake we made too early in life before we really understood what we were choosing. We get to self-actualise or redefine ourselves in this stage.

I’ll leave it there although the cycles continue throughout our lives with each new cycle offering us opportunities for expansion and growth. At any stage we can begin embracing soulful living or simply continue following what we were taught. If you are happy in your life, completely comfortable, aware of your own value, conscious of the greater truth of spirit, source, the universe, or the god of your understanding, then you are probably living the life you chose, or you might be having an ordinary, unenlightened journey this time around, or simply be here supporting someone else’s journey… enjoy the ride… all of which is just perfect. Perhaps your life is uncomfortable, challenging, frustrating, cruel, harsh, out of control, and yet you are aware of why it is happening that way, because you are awakened and connected to your version of source, and you understand that you are fulfilling a karmic journey… you are probably on track as well. Keep going, lean into the learning so that you can stop struggling. If, however, you feel lost and alone, without a spiritual source to support or call upon, and your life doesn’t fit your desires, you are not in touch with your worth or unworthiness, and nothing makes sense to you, then your life could bear some deeper scrutiny. You may be fast asleep at the wheel of your own life, or perhaps you have been taught that you don’t get to drive your own life… either way there is much to discover that could add meaning to your struggle and could enlighten you to a more authentic and comfortable way of being. This is the space where awakening is often generated.

Sadly, I find it is often only in the later cycles of life that people begin to question, and by then so much damage has been done, and we are so lost, it takes a mammoth effort to get back on track. The kicker for me on my journey happened when I learned that if we do not achieve the goal of our soul plan in this lifetime, we get to come back and do it all again until we do. There is no way I want to relive the pressure cooker challenge-fest that has been my life experience, and I am highly motivated to self-mastery of my goal. I am also highly motivated to share my learning with as many of you as are ready to onboard new information and find a new way of being. Remember if we are journeying together, chances are we are part of the same soul group or collective consciousness. You succeed, I succeed, and vice versa. We all move together as one group towards that ultimate enlightenment as a soul.

As always, I offer you my understanding of things. I encourage you at all times to question and decide for yourself what you want to accept and onboard. I’m always interested to hear your opinions and I encourage feedback. However, it is essential to understand this vital truth as we journey together:

We don’t have to agree on a single thing to be kind to one another.

So, disagree with me by all means, own your different perspective, but please remain respectful of other’s beliefs and journeys.

Treat yourself with EMpathy and EMbolden yourself to dream. EMerge from your learned way of being, allowing yourself to celebrate life as you EMbrace your full potential. EMancipate yourself from your limitations, EMpowering yourself to live with greater clarity and joy!

Until next time when I shall discuss changing your life, be kind to one another and honour yourself as the unique and incredibly special soul that you are.

© Copyright 2020 – Janice Melmed

Published by Janice Melmed

Author & energy intuitive

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